Part 2: I Must Be Ruthless!
I need to adopt a new attitude with myself – that of ruthlessness. As I mentioned in my last blog I am in the process of sorting out my stuff and packing it up for the condo I live in to go on the market. It needs to be ready to show. I have way too much stuff so a lot has to go and a lot has to be packed up. To further complicate the situation, after the condo sells I will be moving to a one bedroom after living in a two bedroom for over ten years. So not only do I need to be ruthless about packing up but also about what I am going to keep and what I am going to toss, donate and sell.
Being a packrat is common for those affected by ADHD. We also struggle with decision-making unless it is a crisis and then we are often great at decision-making. Sorting out stuff is a lot about decision-making – what to keep and what to get rid of. I have also discovered this last week that I really struggle with getting rid of things that were gifts. I feel that if someone went to the trouble of gifting me something I should treasure it. This gets in the way of being ruthless about what to get rid of because not every gift we receive is on the mark or needed.
Sorting stuff out also involves perseverance another thing that can be difficult for those affected by ADHD. Especially if it is a mundane activity which sorting out your stuff certainly is. The best way I know how to solve this is to have a shadow buddy. A shadow buddy is someone who shadows you like job shadowing. This person just keeps you company and on track while you work. When there is someone else involved we tend to get more done. I try to ask family members first with the caveat that they are to be a supportive and benign force. In other, not tell me what to do unless I solicit their advice.
If not a family member than a friend works as well and depending on your family maybe better. Don’t be embarrassed to ask for the support. Just make sure there is reciprocity. For example offer to help them clear out something they have been meaning to do. Or take them out to dinner as a thank you for their time. It is up to you to make sure that you are not just taking up your friend’s time but giving something back. Some of my clients know others who are also affected by ADHD like them. They often trade shadow buddying for each other. If you don’t have anyone in your life that can support you like this an alternative is hiring a professional organizer. It does cost money but can be helpful.
Back to the trenches for me.
Until next week…