By the time a potential client contacts me for ADHD coaching they may be frustrated or angry with themselves. They are tired of letting themselves down and letting the people in their life down. At work it may they didn’t start a task in a timely fashion and got the final product done late letting down their boss or co-workers. Or maybe they missed critical details in their haste to get something done and turned in a project with errors. At home it may be not doing their fair share of the work to keep the household running smoothly.
The anger or frustration at one’s self comes from having the best of intentions but falling short when it comes to follow through. We don’t sit around thinking of ways to get out of our responsibilities. Instead we spend time exerting our energies on the wrong things.
How do we manage the anger and frustration? By starting from where we are not from where we have been. We can waste a lot of time and energy on regret and recriminating ourselves for things not done. The problem is that this behavior not only doesn’t get us anywhere but it gets in our way. If we let people down it is appropriate to apologize and take action but not to wallow. Wallowing is just wasting time. We should instead direct our energy toward getting some help. This could take the form of getting professional help like a coach or a therapist. It could also mean asking for help from the people already in our life.
Unfortunately, there are no easy answers or magic secrets that if we just knew the struggles would stop. But what we can stop is turning toward ourselves in anger and frustration. It serves no positive purpose. Instead forgive yourself and start on a plan of action to do better the next time.