Quality Over Quantity
I didn’t have tons of friends growing up. Not uncommon for someone affected by ADHD. It didn’t really bother me because I figured I preferred a few really good friends over a lot of casual friends. But the problem with having a small circle of people you surround yourself with is that each member of that circle has tremendous power over you and the circle.
Being Treated “Less Than”
One of my friends at that time wasn’t that popular with my family and I couldn’t understand why. As we got older I began to understand. They didn’t like the way she treated me. I was always made to feel “less than” by her. Upon reflection, I realize now that I made her feel good about herself in a superior way. I was valuable to her because of that.
But, as things will happen as you grow up, I began to realize I was tired of being treated as “less than” and should really only surround myself with people who treated me as an equal. It wasn’t my purpose to serve as a prop for someone else’s ego.
Are You in a “Less Than” Situation?
As I look around me, I see clients in relationships both personal and professional where they are a “less than” and they are grateful just to be invited to the party. Whether it be a friend, family member, significant other or colleague, you should never feel “less than” another. Part of it is your responsibility to stand up for yourself and realize you deserve people who value you in both success and trouble.
Are their people in your group who treat you as “less than?” If so you have two choices – shift the relationship to one of greater equality or let go of the relationship. This is painful either way. People are resistant to changes in power dynamics and they are resistant to ending a relationship that they feel superior in.
Are You Being Boosted Up or Pushed Down?
Your quality of life is greatly affected by the company you keep. Are you being boosted up or pushed down? You deserve relationships, no matter if they are minor or major, that move you upward in your feelings for yourself and others.
Look around you at the people who you have surrounded yourself with, are they there to help you succeed or simply make themselves feel better? I still believe, as I did when I was younger – quality over quantity.