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Chronic Pain/Illness and Persistence
I just finished a blog entry on ADHD and persistence in developing Executive Functioning Skills, I realized how important persistence also is in chronic pain or illness. The persistence I am talking about is the everyday persistence for you to live a life despite the struggle. It takes persistence to demand a decent quality of life despite the limitations you encounter from your body and mind.
Persistence is required to find satisfaction in living in defiance of whatever difficulty or even catastrophe that has entered your life and tried to limit your living. It is hard to find the energy to maintain that persistence. Your energy can be drained just by managing the simplest things but you must hold back some of that energy to persist in living as good a quality life as you can manage.
It is essential to make clear delineations between day and night. This sounds obvious but sometimes our hole is so deep we no longer to recognize the transitions of the day. That can be just the beginning of your new life..
Persistence means seeking gratitude wherever you can find it. Finding humor and the ridiculousness of your situation. Persistence means finding and reminding yourself of what you are learning during this process. How is this experience making you a better person? I know a part of you wants to say “screw better person, I want the suffering to stop.” I know that place and it may seem easy to me, since I have had the opportunity to live past this place, to tell you to find the growth or the good. But finding gratitude, humor or the good from within helps stave off the bitterness that can be debilitating.
When I realized one day after years of terrible chronic pain that very little scared me anymore. I had lived a life of avoidance of many things just to stay in my perception of safe. To a great extent I am now liberated. I don’t live in fear of the future or the past. I believe there is virtually nothing I can’t handle now. I know how to ask for help from others when I need help. I am learning to develop relationships with reciprocity so I no longer feel indebted; now I can be appreciative. Each new challenge is an opportunity, not a dead end.
This is from persistence, sticking to it long enough to see what works, what doesn’t work and to realize what you have learned in the process. Now many people with chronic pain or illness will never find full relief. I realize that, I haven’t.
In ADHD land we talk about “not better, different” in how others do things compared to how we do things. There may or may not be “better” out there for you, but without persistence you will never know. There may or may not be different out there for you, without persistence, you will never know.
The same old same old obviously isn’t good enough, so let go of fear Hope can be painful, I realize that, so go for “different” through persistence, persistence of demanding a quality life, of using what energy you have.
A lot of things may have been taken away from you, but don’t let persistence be one of them.
Persistence is the Name of the Game at CHADD Conference
I am on the flight home from the CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder) Conference held in San Francisco November 7th – 10th, 2012. As I think about the conference the word that comes PERSISTENCE comes to mind… persistence in seeking the roots of ADHD, persistence in seeking the history of ADHD, persistence in managing with ADHD and persistence in treating ADHD.
Although I couldn’t attend all of the many presentations of scientific papers and research by world renowned experts, I often heard people commenting after those sessions, “ADHD is a real thing; there is scientific proof; I feel validated.”
Gina Pera, one of the keynote speakers, spoke of the history of ADHD in medical literature. She demonstrated that ADHD existed hundreds of years ago. Her presentation was followed by a partial screening of the film “Gigante” (Spanish for Giant) which follows the life of Andress Torres. Torres is a baseball player who was with the San Francisco Giants when they won the world series in 2010. Torres spent eleven years in the minors until his ADHD was treated. He became a major component of the Giants winning the series.
“Gigante” is going to be shown at the Sundance Festival and then will have a wider release. Look for it in a movie theatre near you. The director, producer and, of course, Torres, all have ADHD, but they got it done. Persistence.
Much of the conversation during the CHADD Conference focused on Executive Function Skills. As I have mentioned before in my blog, Executive Function Skills are skills such as planning, time management, organizing, focus, working memory and metacognition.
What struck me the most was that no expert could say that if you do X for Y amount of time you will overcome the weaknesses in your Executive Function Skills. Instead the message was that you can work on your skills and implement systems to offset and manage your Executive Functions.
But it all comes down to persistence; persistence in implementing systems, supports, habits and skills. As often said in the ADHD world “pills don’t make skills.” Don’t get me wrong, medication can make a huge difference. But you still have to build skills, and building skills when you have ADHD involves an incredible amount of persistence.
That is why coaching is so helpful. Coaching gives you a buddy for the process. Ultimately though, the persistence must come from you. You have it within you. It takes so much energy to manage your life when you have ADHD that you have built your strength and willpower. I say “willpower” and “ADHD” in the same sentence, because I believe you can overcome the odds.
Executive Function Skills – If you are interested in learning more about Executive Function Skills and how you can work on them, check my website for information about my upcoming webinar series in January and February, 2013. This six week , Tuesday night webinar series covers Executive Functions Skills and how they work together. Save $40 if you sign up by December 15th, 2013.
The Invisibility of ADHD and Chronic Pain
Disabilities are tricky when they are what we call invisible disabilities such as ADHD or chronic pain. You don’t look any different from the outside but inside you are different. For example with my chronic pain it makes it hard for me to stand for long periods of time. When I had a cane people would offer me a seat but now because the disability is not visually reinforced by the cane I am looked upon poorly if I do not give up my seat for someone else with a visible disability. It is all perfectly understandable because we are all strangers to each other and do not know what we suffer in silence.
For people with ADHD, some, like me, suffer from time blindness. We have no sense of the passage of time. Sitting down to work for 15 minutes, 30 minutes or 50 minutes may all feel the same to us.
But the rub comes in the fact that it is not to our advantage to reveal our disabilities, especially in the work place. Once the information is out it can never be taken back. People tend to be judgmental about what they don’t understand, haven’t experienced themselves or can’t see. Your assertion can become the only lense through which you are viewed. Maybe even cutting off your opportunity toward advancement. When in reality, these are the very people who should be advanced because they have proven themselves able to, metaphorically speaking, move mountains with – one arm tied behind their back. They are the problem solvers, the inventors, unflagging in continuing to march forward despite adversity. They have been tested every day of their lives but keep moving forward. Showing up each day despite their difficulties and I believe empowered by them.
Pilates for Chronic Pain and ADHD
Pilates and I are old friends. Pilates, named after Joseph Pilates, is a form of exercise that you either do lying down on a mat doing exercises that focus on your “powerhouse” (meaning your abdominal muscles) and lengthening your body. Or using specially designed equipment, some of which employ pulleys and springs for resistance as you do a variety of exercises that strengthen and lengthen your powerhouse and the rest of your body.
Pilates has in the past and still is used for rehabilitation from injuries or weakness. It is also used by professional dancers and athletes to get and stay in shape.
I learned about pilates as a dancer, my first career. Many dancers I knew used pilates to come back from injury or trained in the method and became certified pilates instructors after they retired from dancing. One of the great things about pilates is that it is great for the twenty year old athlete and the eighty year old more sedentary lifestyle.
So why am I blogging about pilates? No I am not getting kickbacks, I started doing pilates again almost fifteen years ago after failed back surgery caused chronic pain and nerve damage to the right side of my back and leg. Pilates helped me gain back the strength I had lost. It is a type of exercise that can be modified to the client’s individual level and physical issues. That is why it is used in a lot of rehab work. Although people with chronic pain don’t want to exercise, I know, I am one of them. Doctors encourage exercise for the chronic pain patient so they increase their strength and not atrophy. Furthermore, exercise is a mood enhancer which is important for people with chronic pain.
Well, full confession time, I stopped doing the pilates after awhile, got lazy. Recently I started back up because I realized I had to practice what I preach – exercise for people with ADHD. You see, during the time I wasn’t doing pilates I became an ADHD coach. Studies have shown that exercise is important to the treatment of ADHD. Actually right after you exercise is a great time to study or get work done. You will be more focused because of the chemicals shooting around your brain right after exercise.
Something else I noticed about pilates and ADHD is that in pilates you don’t do a lot of repetition. Meaning that you never do an exercise twenty times, which can get boring for people with ADHD. Usually you do each exercise four, six, eight or ten times. There is one exception though, called the Hundreds, but I will let you find out what it is on your own.
So, start exercising whether you have chronic pain, ADHD or both. Make sure if you are starting a new type of exercising or haven’t been exercising that you get your doctor’s okay before you start. Maybe you will adventure into the world of pilates or something else. The important thing is that you do something. Your body and brain will thank you. So will the people around you because, as I said earlier, exercise is a natural mood enhancer so you will be more fun to be around. People like that!
ADHD ADD and Intrinsic Interest
ADHD/ADD and the word “intrinsically” are an important combination. Someone with ADHD is more likely to get something done if it is intrinsically of interest to them. This doesn’t mean there may not still be a struggle but ultimately if something is of intrinsic interest to someone ADHD or not, they are more likely to do it.
This seems obvious, so why point it out? Well, many people with ADHD devalue any task that they are good at or is of intrinsic interest to them as being silly or unimportant. While, at the same time, put greater value on things that are hard for them or not naturally inclined to do. An example of this is in the jobs that ADHD people pursue. Many seek jobs that are very detailed oriented, maybe a lot of paperwork, when they should be seeking jobs that are focused on idea generation with someone else doing documentation. Most important the job should be of intrinsic interest to them so that even the difficult parts are easier to do if they can’t be done by someone else.
In creating a positive ADHD life seek a life where the scale is weighted heavily on the intrinsically interesting side. Remove as much as possible the intrinsically uninteresting and you will find more success and peace.