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As the year comes to an end, I am thinking about how I want the next year to be. I used to make hugely complicated plans about the year to come. All the things I was going to change and accomplish only to end up feeling like a failure six months later. Now I do something different.

First, I think about what brings me joy. What lights me up about my life. It is important to focus in on what lifts us up in our life. What is going well and moving us forward.

Second, I think about what I fear or scares me about my life. This is important because a lot of getting over fear is naming it for what it is. Bringing it out into to the light of day.

With those thoughts in my mind, I ask myself three questions.

1. What am I willing to stop doing that I am currently doing in my life?

• What am I willing to continue doing that I am currently doing in my life?

• What am I willing to start doing that I am not currently doing in my life?

Thinking in terms of stop, continue and start doing cause us to evaluate things. What are you doing in life that is either getting in your way or not moving you forward? Or simply is exhausting you. Instead of continuing to do those things why not try to stop at least one of them. Just because you have done something a certain way in the past doesn’t mean you need to continue to them in the future.

Along those lines, what is there of value that you are already doing that you should continue doing. Something that you are seeing benefit from. Renew your commitment to that action. Don’t let it get lost in your day to day living.

Finally, thinking about what you are not going to do and more, what you are going to continue to do because it brings you benefit, what could you start doing that would also bring you benefit. What new thing could you start doing that would add light to your life. Remember you have space for something new because you are stopping something old.

Be careful not to fall into the trap of only continuing and starting. Something needs to go in order to add something new. This is hard for some people to let themselves stop doing something that they have always done whether they are receiving benefit or not from it.

For those affected by ADHD, don’t build a mountain to scale, just walk a path. There are things you are doing that you can stop. There are things that you are doing on an ongoing basis that you don’t think you are doing but you are that are helping you. Keep doing those things. Then simply add one small thing that might help make it easier to walk your path.

A lot of people make resolutions in the New Year to exercise more or to start exercising if they haven’t been. Your one small thing may be to take a walk twice a week. Will this meet all your health needs. No. But it is a doable beginning. It is better than doing nothing. People affected by ADHD often fear starting something because they fear failure. My feeling is you are going to fail. It is pre-ordained. It is what you do with the failure that matters. Do you try again or give up.  As an ADHD coach, I often tell my clients it isn’t about falling off the horse, it is about how quickly you try to get back up on the horse again and again.

As an ADHD coach I have had some clients observe how they get things done at work but not at home. Especially if they live alone. Accountability and structure are what is missing. At work you are accountable to a supervisor or boss. Don’t do the work, you could get fired or demoted. Also, there are other people around you working and cause some societal pressure. Not to say it can’t be hard sometimes to get things done at work but usually you have deadlines which create structure to your day.

Sometimes when coaching entrepreneurs struggling to get things done and grow their business, I noticed they would try to schedule completely free days to get work done. They would try to have days without meetings, appointments or obligations so they could just hunker down and get to work on what they were behind on or not getting done. This often failed. No work got done or very little and most often toward the end of the day. Or they would get stuff done but just not the right stuff. I believe for many the reason they don’t get the work done on these “free” days is because the time is too wide open. It is too easy to delay getting started or get distracted by something less important but seemingly more immediate. Now if there is a hard outside deadline then they may have more ease at getting the work done during those “free” days.

I recommend not trying to schedule “free” days unless you are up against a very important immediate hard outside deadline. Usually, the pressure and stimulation from fear of not getting the task done will push you forward. If you do not have that hard fearful deadline, a day with appointments, meetings or other obligations is your best bet to getting things done. The obligations structure your time. They create mini deadlines.

As someone who works for herself. The days I have had completely free have been days where little gets done. But days with appointments push me to get things done in between sessions. I find weekends are especially dangerous. All that open time is opportunity to put things off that should get done. Often things I don’t enjoy doing like cleaning. But even if it is only an errand I have to do, it can help me have a little more luck not wasting the whole day. I can say to myself, “I need to get this task done before I can go pick up the food.” This encourages me to get to work because I want the food. Or maybe schedule a get together with friends and say to yourself that you won’t go until after you clean the kitchen. Of course, this doesn’t always work but it does work sometimes and that is better than not getting things done ever.

Part of the problem is we seem to easily break promises to ourselves. That is why I recommend whenever possible to obligate yourself to someone else. For example, at work when you are given an open-ended assignment without a deadline from a superior make a promise. When given the new assignment say to them when you are going to complete the assignment and commit to it. Give a hard date and time. Make sure you notate it in your calendar. Also, try not to have the completion dates to far away. Long-term projects are often harder to get done then immediately due projects. If it is a long-term project try and break it down into chunks and commit to those chunks being done by certain dates. Be public about those commitments. It helps you to get to work.

One time when I was scheduled to give a presentation at a conference and I just was not getting my act together. I hadn’t even started yet. I needed to get it done before I left for the conference because I wouldn’t have time at the conference to get it done before my presentation. I went on social media and committed to the universe that I would get the presentation done by 1pm that day. I doubt anyone saw that post but it got me working. Outside social pressure can help get you started on a task. Usually once you get started you are ok.

Think of accountability and structure as your friends. They set you up for a greater likelihood of success. Of course, it doesn’t always work but working sometimes leaves you better off than you were.

One of my clients is trying to overhaul her sleeping habits. She tends to stay up late or all-night reading. I get it. I used to do the same thing. I have had many clients who stay up late fooling around on their phone or tablet. It is addicting. You start reading one article or watching a video and it leads to another and another. Or you start reading a book and get really into it.

Often the result is that it is hard to get up the next morning because you are so tired. Many people affected by ADD/ADHD say they aren’t morning people. I wonder if this is really true for all of them or if a portion of them are just not getting enough sleep so that mornings are hard. I don’t know the answer to that. What I do know is that you need sleep. Lack of sleep can aggravate ADD/ADHD symptoms.

Choose a bedtime. Work backwards from when you have to get up to decide the time. Set an alarm, if necessary, about an hour before your bedtime. Do your ablutions once the alarm goes off and then get into bed. You should have 30 to 45 minutes left to read, play games, watch video or whatever chills you out. You might have to set another alarm for when your hour is up to remind you to turn out the lights and close your eyes. I like to put on a podcast to listen to as I go to sleep. This is key though, not a favorite podcast because I will stay up listening. Just a middle of the road podcast or the radio that engage me at a low level so I can fall asleep.

Don’t watch TV to fall asleep. TV is a visual medium and you will stay up later than necessary if you keep your eyes open and end up fighting sleep. I have some clients who listen to audio books to fall asleep. That can work, but again it can’t be an interesting book that keeps you awake. One way to solve that is to listen to books you have already listened to or read before so it is not quite so engaging.

When your alarm goes off in the morning get up. Don’t hit snooze. Snooze is dangerous. It can lead to over sleeping. Some clients use an alarm clock and put it across the room from them so they have to get out of bed to turn off the annoying alarm. The rule is once out of bed, no going back.

What is important is getting enough sleep so that your symptoms are not exacerbated and you don’t feel lethargic during the day. If you have trouble falling asleep on a regular basis, see a doctor for help. Sleep is vital to success and enjoyment of life.

Ordinarily I send out a missive on New Year’s Day. In ordinary times. These are not ordinary times. There is the pandemic and a great divide in our nation. On a personal note, I am taking care of a sick relative. Time has both lost meaning and at the same time is full of meaning.

Each year my New Year’s Day message is supposed to uplift. A hard thing to do right now. Most important for those of us affected by ADHD it is about letting go of last year’s disappointments and looking to the future. Most likely if you are reading this you struggle with symptoms associated with ADHD. This could include time management, getting started on tasks, finishing tasks, prioritizing, self-regulation, planning, focus and so much more. I can’t tell you that this year will better. I don’t know that. What I can tell you is the attitude with which you approach this year makes all the difference.

I like to tell my clients to be an investigator. Investigate your life. Collect data. What is working? What is not working? Are you late all the time? Instead of beating yourself up begin to investigate. What is happening ten minutes before you have to leave to be somewhere? What is happening 30 minutes before, an hour before? If need be start taking notes. Are you forgetting you need to be someplace at a certain time? Are you doing one last thing before you leave which makes you late? Are you losing track of time? Are you underestimating travel time? There is a myriad of possibilities. But once you pin down what is going on there is the possibility you can take some corrective action.

The key is to leave out your emotions, assumptions and judgements. Just be an investigator and collect data.

I used to be severely late all the time. Upon investigating I discovered is that the pressure of an appointment or deadline spurred me into action. I would start cleaning or doing paperwork work. Thinking I need to get “this” done before I leave. Now I have a simple rule of never starting any new activity fifteen minutes before I need to leave to get somewhere. I use those fifteen minutes to find a stopping point in whatever I am doing and get ready to leave.

What are you struggling with? Can you become an investigator and investigate your actions? Then come up with a plan of action based on the data you have collected. You might need support in doing this. An ADHD coach can help you.

This year instead of judging yourself or putting yourself down, shift your attitude to becoming an investigator of your actions or non-actions. Find out what is actually happening and then take corrective action.

People affected by ADHD tend to struggle with procrastination. Usually we avoid what we are supposed to be doing by doing something else instead that is either not as urgent or important.  We can become very productive doing other than what we are supposed to be doing or what is the priority. Often what we are avoiding is a task we might not like to do or are unsure how to do. Instead of getting help we avoid by getting caught up in something that is not the priority.

For many of my clients, the procrastinating involves going down rabbit holes. Maybe looking something up on the internet and then researching the topic for five hours instead of getting our work done. Or going into the kitchen to get something and deciding now is the perfect time to clean the kitchen instead of getting to work on our project.

My best advice is hard but doable. Whatever task you are avoiding do it for fifteen minutes. We can do most anything for fifteen minutes. Set a timer if need be.

You can get a lot done in fifteen minutes. Also, if you really focus for fifteen minutes you may get caught up enough in the task to keep going for a while before needing to take a break. That is great. Once you are no longer able to focus take a break but keep it short so you don’t lose your momentum. Use a timer or alarm for your break and make a commitment to yourself that once the alarm goes off you are back to work. It may be that you can only work in short spurts or may be once you get started you are able to keep going. Regardless, the key is to stay on task and not get caught up doing other things.

Make sure your breaks are not enticing activities that will suck you in. For example, a lot of my clients play digital games. That is great but they make a poor idea for a short break because the games are designed to keep you playing. Use your breaks to refresh yourself not to go down another rabbit hole. For me it is reading. If I am taking a break, I can’t start reading a book because I get caught up in the story and then my break lasts for hours. Keep breaks short and sweet. Then get back to your fifteen minutes of working intervals.