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What Happens During an ADHD Coaching Session?
With many ADHD coaches, after you sign up you begin your sessions that usually range in length from 30, 45 or 50 minutes. Some coaches, like myself, do a longer initial session which some other coaches and I call an “Intake Session.” These sessions range anywhere from 90 minutes to 2 hours and are often a combination of an introduction to ADHD coaching, necessary paperwork, any assessments the coach might want to do and determining your goals for your coaching experience. I like these sessions because I feel they jumpstart the relationship and allow us to get to work immediately in our regular sessions without wasting any time.
In coaching, the coach and the client are partners. So they talk about what the client wants to work on. The coach helps by asking questions and providing information about ADHD so that the client can develop a plan and come up with ideas on how to move forward.
Often at the end of the session the client and the coach will review what the client plans to do or think about before the next session and how they will support themselves in doing it. This may include trying out new systems of getting things done or rehearsing how to respond in a particular situation that is looming or comes up repeatedly.
Depending on the coach, there may be contact between the sessions by phone, text or email to update the coach, notify the coach on the progress being made or to discuss a roadblock that has occurred. These contacts are almost always client initiated.
Basically, the ADHD coaching session is a conversation between you and the coach where you set the agenda (if you have difficulty with coming up with an agenda, a good coach will remind you of what your goals are and help you to re-engage with them.) Each of you is an experts, you on yourself and the coach on coaching and ADHD so it is a true partnership.
Now you know what to expect from an ADHD coaching session. Is this what you imagined a coaching session would be like or did you have a different idea? Share your thoughts. I love comments!
Abigail Wurf, M.Ed, CLC
ADHD and Executive Functions Coach Abigail Wurf works with adults, couples and parents affected by ADHD or executive function issues (see definition below) in a coaching and/or consulting capacities. Her clientele also includes college and graduate students struggling to make it through their programs. She conducts workshops and speaking presentations on executive function issues such as productivity, planning, prioritizing, goal setting, time management, task initiation, emotional regulation, focus, meta-cognition, working memory, self inhibition and flexibility/shift. Abigail’s work also includes presentations on ADHD, specific executive functions or theories of executive functions, invisible disabilities, resiliency and motivation.ADHD: Resolutions no! Intentions yes!: Abigail Wurf
Resolutions no! Intentions yes!
On New Year’s Day I sent out a message of hope and best wishes to my list for the New Year. Included was this quote from Rainer Maria Rilke:
And now we welcome the New Year, full of things that have never been.
It is the same quote I used last year. I had planned to use a different quote each year but found myself coming back to this. As I looked for other quotes, this is simply still true and speaks most to me.
We all tend to think about how we will do things differently in the New Year. It is natural. We want to move forward and make the best possible life. Unfortunately, many people affected by ADHD look back at past years and to their eyes it appears that things have not changed much. This can make one feel a failure before the year even gets fully underway.
That is thinking in a pass/fail paradigm! You might as well make resolutions!
Let go of that!
In the beginning of the year I encourage people to think in terms of intentions. To me intentions are about movement forward. The metaphor that I think of is a cup of water. A resolution is to empty the cup of water. To succeed by the end of the year the cup must be completely empty of water.
An intention it is not an all-or-nothing proposition. If the intention is to move some of the water out of the cup that will happen. You will pour some out and some will naturally evaporate.
Notice I didn’t say remove water from the cup because that is a negative proposition. We want to be moving in a positive direction therefore only positive action occurs. Note also that some of the movement of the water was directed, the pouring, and some was non-directed, the evaporation.
Movement or flow whether deliberate or not causes more flow effortlessly moves you forward.
Movement forward takes you to new places, new things and new discoveries. That is where you find a life “full of things that have never been.” Rilke
Abigail Wurf, M.Ed, CLC
ADHD and Executive Functions Coach
Abigail Wurf works with adults, couples and parents affected by ADHD or executive function issues (see definition below) in a coaching and/or consulting capacities. Her clientele also includes college and graduate students struggling to make it through their programs.
She conducts workshops and speaking presentations on executive function issues such as productivity, planning, prioritizing, goal setting, time management, task initiation, emotional disregulation, focus, meta-cognition, working memory, self inhibition and flexibility/shift.
Abigail’s work also includes presentations on ADHD, specific executive functions or theories of executive functions, invisible disabilities, resiliency and motivation.
Abigail Wurf: Why Hire an ADHD Coach?
Why hire an ADHD coach? To move you forward in your life!
ADHD coaching starts from where you are in your life and looks to the goals you wish to achieve in life, long-term, medium-term or even short-term.
If you are not sure of your goals, you can hire an ADHD coach to help you figure out what those goals are. ADHD coaching supports you in what you wish to do. You set the agenda. The coach helps you pursue that agenda.
You might ask how does an ADHD coach do that?
The coach helps you change habits, develop systems, develop new habits, work on how you make choices, helps you get unstuck when you are stuck, when to simplify because life is getting in the way and if you wish, accountability. These are just some of the things you can do with an ADHD coach.
Why my tagline?
My new tagline is “A Helping Hand to Move You Forward.” That is what my coaching is all about, giving a little hand up when you need it but you initiate, guide and work through the process of coaching.
Are you thinking of hiring an ADHD coach?
The fact that you are reading this blog says you might be interested in investigating hiring a coach that specializes in ADHD. If so, what has brought you to the conclusion that ADHD coaching is a possibility for you? What questions do have about hiring an ADHD coach?
Abigail Wurf, M.Ed, CLC
ADHD and Executive Functions Coach
Abigail Wurf works with adults, couples and parents affected by ADHD or executive function issues (see definition below) in a coaching and/or consulting capacities. Her clientele also includes college and graduate students struggling to make it through their programs.
She conducts workshops and speaking presentations on executive function issues such as productivity, planning, prioritizing, goal setting, time management, task initiation, emotional disregulation, focus, meta-cognition, working memory, self inhibition and flexibility/shift.
Abigail’s work also includes presentations on ADHD, specific executive functions or theories of executive functions, invisible disabilities, resiliency and motivation.
ADHD: Need Help? Ask for It. Everyone Else Does!
ADHD: Asking for help
Why don’t we ask for help? Or why do we feel shame asking for help?
ADHD: in a muddle again
We get into muddles and are fearful to ask for some help. Even if all we need is to talk through the issue to become clearer on what is actually the issue.
ADHD: Need Help?
Somehow, for some reason, if we ask for help it is when the clock has run out on us. Instead, asking for help up front would give the helper and us an opportunity to do something about the situation at hand.
ADHD: We Wait
We wait, getting more stressed, digging the hole deeper. We don’t seem to learn from past situations. We dig the same hole over and over again. Waiting before we ask for help.
ADHD: The Rub
Do we look down on other people who ask for help? Do we deny the people who ask us for help? No and no. So why the double standard?
ADHD: Wish
I wish I knew the answer to this question. I could help a lot of my ADHD clients and my ADHD self.
ABIGAIL WURF, M.ED, CLC
ADHD and Executive Functions Coach
Abigail Wurf works with adults, couples and parents affected by ADHD or executive function issues (see definition below) in a coaching and/or consulting capacities. Her clientele also includes college and graduate students struggling to make it through their programs.
She conducts workshops and speaking presentations on executive function issues such as productivity, planning, prioritizing, goal setting, time management, task initiation, emotional disregulation, focus, meta-cognition, working memory, self inhibition and flexibility/shift.
Abigail’s work also includes presentations on ADHD, specific executive functions or theories of executive functions, invisible disabilities, resiliency and motivation.
What is my ADHD Special Sauce? My Philosophy of ADHD Coaching
In marketing they tell you to figure out what makes you different from the other people or companies offering seemingly similar services. In my case that is ADHD coaching.
When I first began ADHD coaching I wasn’t sure what special something I brought to my coaching and client interaction.
I am enthusiastic, but so are others.
I am well educated and well trained, but again, so are others.
I have ADHD so I have experienced what many of my clients have experienced, but, yet again, so have others.
I have struggled with many of the co-morbidities that are common with ADHD such as depression, anxiety and learning disabilities. But, yet one more time, so have some others.
How coaching is defined
Coaching is an interdevelopmental relationship between the client and coach . It is a partnership of equals. The coach is expert on coaching and the client is expert on him or herself. It is assumed that the client is whole, competent, creative and intelligent. Unlike therapy, consulting or mentorship, the client is not in a one down position from the expert therapist, consultant or mentor who is one up in the relationship. And, to repeat, the client is assumed to have no pathology.
Here is the rub
ADHD is a pathology! Just like diabetes is a pathology. So some coaches do not believe in ADHD coaching because by the very definition of “whole” the ADHD client is counted out due to their ADHD and possible ancillary issues. The ADHD coach is also “expert” in ADHD (or should be) and that puts them “one up” on the ADHD client.
Rubbish!
I can see their point. ADHD coaching could turn into a one up and one down relationship but that depends on howthe coach sets up the situation. But it is not destiny. The point is only true if the ADHD coach places her or himself above the client.
I have expertise
It is true that I most likely will know more than my client about ADHD. Aside from the fact that I have studied the topic and continue to do so, I also meet and interact with many more ADHD affected people that the average person with ADHD is likely to. That is why ADHD affected people come to me.
But what about the Special Sauce?
But there is also my special sauce and I’m it! All my experiences have brought me to this point and I bring all that knowledge to the coaching relationship. I could never be one up from my client because I also bring my failures and triumphs along with my skills, training and knowledge
I constantly hear from clients how reassuring it is that someone who is perceived as an “expert” can still fall into the same traps that she can easily identify if asked or even sometimes fail spectacularly. It is also reassuring to my clients to hear of the triumphs not only of myself but also of the many other ADHD people I know. Hope is an important ingredient in any special sauce. So is the humility I believe I bring to each session with a client. We learn together what might work for them and/or others.
Another ingredient to a good special sauce is openness to new ideas and possibilities.
I am demanding
I ask a lot of my clients. I expect them to come with a willingness and openness to experience change in their lives. They must be ready for what I term that “internal shift” when you stop reacting and start acting as an advocate for yourself. Only if you are in the right place can you truly appreciate the finer notes of my special sauce.
A question for you
Are you ready to stop reacting and begin acting on your own behalf. What would be your first step? Share it, it will help you to commit to it.
Abigail Wurf, M.Ed, CLC
ADHD and Executive Functions Coach
Abigail Wurf works with adults, couples and parents affected by ADHD or executive function issues (see definition below) in a coaching and/or consulting capacities. Her clientele also includes college and graduate students struggling to make it through their programs.
She conducts workshops and speaking presentations on executive function issues such as productivity, planning, prioritizing, goal setting, time management, task initiation, emotional disregulation, focus, meta-cognition, working memory, self inhibition and flexibility/shift.
Abigail’s work also includes presentations on ADHD, specific executive functions or theories of executive functions, invisible disabilities, resiliency and motivation.
Flexibility, Shift, Focus and ADHD: It’s Not About Exercise!
Teleseminar schedule: Sunday, June 22, 2014 at 4pm ET and Wednesday, June 25, 2014 at 8pm ET
Flexibility, shift and focus are aspects of executive functioning related to transitioning from one thing to another. Many people affected by ADHD have difficulty shifting from one activity, task or event to another. Examples are getting up in the morning, from vacation back to work and the many shifts we make during the day as we move from one task to another.
Sign up for this teleseminar for ideas on how to work on these issues.