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ADHD, Planning, Projects & Celebration
ADHD & Celebration! I have been talking about ADHD and getting projects done. Well I forgot an important component. CELEBRATE YOUR VICTORIES! What I mean by that is celebrate getting the work done. Don’t dwell on whether you got the work done in exactly the fashion you planned, you got it done, that is the important point. You persisted.
We, people affected by ADHD, tend to focus on what didn’t work rather on what did. We always look for reasons to judge ourselves. And that judgement is almost always negative. “Yeah, I got it done, BUT, I didn’t get it done by the time I had planned.” This is often the reframe. Stop! You got it done, that is the important part.
Maybe, when you are in a good place, you can reflect back, IN A CURIOUS MANNER, not negative one, “What got in my way of getting the project done in a timely manner? What can I learn from that experience for the future. I am curious but not judgemental as to why I tend to be late on projects like this. What is something I could do proactively before the next project?” And then listen to yourself kindly.
Ask people who you know are good planners or project managers how they get stuff done. Pick and choose to try what you think might work for you to try the next time. Again, this is about being curious in your approach to doing. Not judging your potential success or failure before you try.
Each new plan or project can be seen as an experiment in trying new ways to see if they will work for you because you are being curious, experimenting. Nothing is all good or bad, black or white. Your can learn from each opportunity, yes, see each project you have to do or plan as opportunity to experience and learn. Not an opportunity to judge yourself.
AND DON’T FORGET TO CELEBRATE YOUR SUCCESS. In any situation you can find something to celebrate or to judge. The choice is yours.
Sleep – The Bane of an ADHD Existence
Sleep – the bane of people with ADHD’s existence. They can’t fall asleep, are resistant to going to bed, once asleep are very sluggish upon waking up, some suffer from sleep apnea, or a whole host of other difficulties. It can be very frustrating just trying to quiet your mind enough at night to go to sleep. Some of us need medication to sleep which is frustrating because it is one more pill to take and often after awhile you plateau on that med and must switch to a different one to keep the efficacy working.
In other words, sleep is serious business for people affected by ADHD. The irony is that getting enough sleep every night can really help one manage their ADHD symptoms. Once I realized that my chronic pain tired me out and required more rest daily, not only did my mental clarity improve but so did my ability to deal with some of my chronic ADHD symptoms. My body just needs more recharging time than before chronic pain entered my life. I think a parallel can be drawn with ADHD. It can be exhausting dealing with the affects of ADHD in our daily lives so it makes perfect sense we need to devote extra time re-charging ourselves through sleep or other renewing activities.
What activities are renewing to you and help you cope with the symptoms of ADHD?
This is from a post on my Facebook page that was very popular. I post on my Facebook page most days and answer comments.
ADHD and the February Blahs!
As an ADHD coach I have been noticing something up (well actually down) with my clients that I thought was just particular to me, the February Blahs!
It seems like we all get a little down in February. The holidays are over, the newness of the new year is over, the weather is still cold and spring seems far away. A lot of my clients who were moving forward seem to take a step back around this time or are a little stagnant. I know that February gets me down. I start complaining more, my family says “remember, its February,” and though annoyed, I go “Oh yes, that’s it.”
So how do we not get the February Blahs, or more accurately, how do we manage the February Blahs. First off, keep reminding yourself that it is a short month. The suffering will be over soon. Next, examine if there is something(s) in particular that is/are getting you down like an uncompleted project nagging at you. Has Valentine’s Day not lived up to your expectation or made you feel lonely? Did you get yourself in debt during the holidays and now your stressed about money? Are you worried about taxes? Explore your inner self talk and see if there is something specific that is dragging you down. If so confront that self talk.
If you find that your interior self is silent but you are still feeling blah, this could simply be a down time of year for you. It is for me and I have never understood why. I do have SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder, so I try to get as much sunlight I can. When I remember!
Not to sound trite but this is a time I try to remember what I call “all the bonuses” in my life. Things that I feel incredibly lucky about. Things I believe are just luck of the draw that are in my life. Things I didn’t have to work for but are just fact maybe because of the family I was born too or maybe because I made the right friend at the right time. Those type of things. Things I am grateful for when I remember to be.
Then I think about the things I have accomplished because of who I am. And everybody has something, just being present in the moment is something. We all make a difference by simply choosing to participate in the world around us.
Sometimes when I can keep these things in mind, revisit them over and over until they sink in, I am able to rise above my February blahs.
Introduction To Executive Functions
Executive Function skills are things like organization, planning, getting things done, prioritizing, time management, etc.
Introduction to Executive Functions is a tele-seminar that covers what different experts say executive functions are and why they are important to people with ADHD who tend to have weak executive functions.
If your brain was an organization, think of the Executive Functions as representing the “secretary” or “assistant” to the “CEO’s of the organization.” The CEO represents the intellect. Wouldn’t you like to figure out how to best manage that secretary or assistant?
The hour long tele-seminar with materials is offered two times:
Thursday, February 28th at 8pm EST
Sunday, March 3rd at 4pm EST
The $20 seminars will be of limited enrollment so that there is an opportunity to answer questions that arise.
To register for the tele-seminar, email awurf@verizon.net or call Abigail at 202-244-2234 between 10am to 8pm EST.
Payment can be made by credit card over the phone or check by mail to 4201 Cathedral Avenue NW 801E, Washington DC 20016. Make checks out to Abigail Wurf Coaching, LLC. Designate if you are signing up for Thursday or Sunday. Include your email and phone number.
This is a great introduction to the upcoming tele-seminars and webinars that will be presented on a once a month basis. Upcoming seminars include Organization of Material Things, Time Management and Prioritization.
For questions, please contact me.
ADHD, Work and ADHD Coaching
People with ADHD are more likely to loose their job a couple of times in their careers than people without ADHD statistically. It may never be you, but it might be.
Their are many jobs that people with ADHD do well in such as emergency medicine, sales or fire fighting. This is because many people with ADHD do well under pressure and are actually at their best in high pressure situations. A job with some sort of thrill factor helps many people with ADHD perform better.
It is the mundane side of jobs that many people with ADHD find so difficult. They have trouble activating themselves to get things like monotonous paperwork done.
The key is to carry the momentum from the thrill activities over to the not so thrilling activities if possible. This is why ADHD coaching can help people find and keep their jobs. There are of course no guarantees and ultimately it is up to the individual to keep and get their own job. But an ADHD coach has experience helping people to find ways of dealing with the monotony of the more tedious aspects of a job.
Sometimes the answer is to make a game of the activity or time yourself. The answer may be to try and trade, re-negotiate or delegate different tasks. The best answer is to try to settle on a career in the first place that plays to your strengths more than your weaknesses.
Coming up: Tele-seminar on what executive functions are and why they are important to people with ADHD – Introduction to Executive Function Skills.
Thursday, Feb. 28th at 8pm EST or Sunday, March 3rd at 4pm EST
To sign up email Abigail at awurf@verizon.net or call 202-244-2234 between 10am and 8pm EST. The cost for the hour tele-seminar is $20 that can be paid by check or credit card.
ADHD & Motivation: Stop Expecting to Enjoy
I made a major breakthrough this week. It was so simple but extremely powerful. I gave up!
Let me start from the beginning, I have been trying to practice my Pilates three times a week at home. I recently got some Pilates equipment. First realization I had was previously I had only been doing Pilates twice a week at a studio where everything was conducive to make the workout happen. I had appointments with an individual instructor scheduled and had pre-paid for the lessons. So I was being successful at arriving at the appointments but when I realized that six months of appointments would more than pay for the equipment I needed I decided to buy the equipment and workout at home. No more commute or scheduling issues and save money, much easier, right?
Wrong! First mistake was to up the amount of times I worked out a week. Before I even got started, remember I had been going twice a week, now I was going to start doing it on my own and do it three times a week. Second mistake was assuming I would feel the same pull to workout that I did when I met with my instructor who was very encouraging and motivating. But I didn’t, feel the pull, that is, to workout at home alone. Within weeks I was facing failure.
The first smart thing I did was reduce my expectation of the number of workouts from three to twice a week, something I had previously been able to do, although under different circumstances. That took a lot of stress off. One less failure a week. I could make a goal to increase to three times a week once I got twice a week down pat.
Then the real break through occurred. I was waiting for the pull or want to do the workout which usually didn’t come. I don’t like exercising. So why was I waiting for or expecting to feel a pull or want toward something I basically didn’t like to do. Then I realized that I had to forget wanting to do something as a criteria for getting something done. I find brushing my teeth and taking a shower really boring but I do it anyway because of the ramifications if I don’t. What were the ramifications if I didn’t exercise. I would get weaker, fatter, loose stamina, less healthy and probably less attractive. As they say, if you haven’t got your health, you have nothing at all.
Letting go of the idea and the expectation of joy, want or a pull toward something in order to do it freed me up to just do it. It is Friday, I exercise on Fridays, It is Saturday, I don’t exercise on Saturday. Simple, I pick my days and just like I shower, I exercise.
Will this last, I don’t know. But it has taken away an awful lot of stress off me. The exercising seems more automatic and a part of what I do to live and less like an internal argument I have everyday about if I will or will not do it. It is not up to an internal discussion anymore. The workout is becoming more rote.
I do feel I need to develop some support system. I am thinking of hooking up with my instructor once a month for a tune-up to make sure I am doing things correctly and advancing properly. That I can afford. Kind of like a once a month coaching session. This will encourage me to workout during the week so there is improvement between monthly sessions with her.
So think about what you want to incorporate in your life and forget about whether you enjoy it or not. Think more about how you can make it a part of your routine and stop leaving it up to daily internal discussions as to whether or not you are going to follow through. This is not a piece of cake but it may be a new way to approach getting certain things done.
IMPORTANT: If you are starting a workout routine, check with your doctor and get some help to set you up doing things correctly. Doing exercises incorrectly can cause injuries. Especially if you use equipment, make sure to have someone help you to use it efficiently and safely. The only reason I purchased the Pilates equipment is because I have gone through the Pilates Certificate Teacher Training Program.